Dear Shelia,
I have dated a man for four years. I enjoy him greatly. Since, we are both busy people we date infrequently. Now, I would like to see him more often. I briefly discussed this with him. He said that at this time, he would not be able to see me more frequently. What should I do?

Four years is a long time for an “open relationship.” Sounds like you’re no longer satisfied with “a piece of a relationship.” Now that he’s told you he’s not willing to see you more often, you have some serious decisions to make.

Being “too busy” is only an excuse people use when they don’t want to do something. I’m sure he has time for the things he enjoys doing. In the past, he’s had the luxury of spending time with you and doing whatever else without it being an issue. If he wanted a commitment, within four years, he’s had plenty of time to make one.

The decision to continue on this path is yours. Why do you want this relationship? You seem to be at a point where you’re wanting more. If this is true, then you will begin to pursue other options; otherwise you’ll be at status quo—another year ticking by yearning for more.