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Feel free to ask me any and everything. If I don't have the answer, then by golly someone out there does.
Monday, January 09, 2006
A Man with Sensitivity
Dear Shelia, My girlfriend told me I wasn't being sensitive to her needs. I'm a man, so I don't know what she means. Help... Sensitive in Maryland.Dear Sensitive in Maryland, Since you didn't elaborate more on why your girlfriend would say that, it's difficult to answer. There could be a number of reasons. Do you find yourself "going through" the motions? Do you really listen to her when she's talking or is your mind a million miles away because you assume she's saying the same old thing? Does she need more romance? It doesn't make you less of a man to show that you care. Pay more attention to her. Really listen and try to cater to some of her needs. Peace and Love, Keep those questions coming. Next week we'll talk about "Love at First Sight" from a reader on the east coast. Have a question??? Feel free to leave your question by either posting in the comment field or sending an email directly to askohshelia@aol.com.
 | Shelia wrote @ 12:01 AM
5 Comments:
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If he don't know his woman by now, then apparently he's the problem. No amount of romance tips will help him.
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9:06 AM
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Dear "A Man with Sensitivity", as Oh Shelia says, it is hard to really answer the question without your question being a little more specific. I would imagine, however, that she feels she is being taken for granted. Remember one little important thing, if you don't remember anything else; little things mean a lot.
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9:45 AM
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Mr. Or Mrs. or Ms. Anonymous, I will go out on a limb and disagree with your comment that if he doesn't know his lady by now, nothing will help him. This is not necessarily true. One must keep mind that in this day and age of hustle and bustler where people are working long hours, working on a career and trying to make the all mighty dollar, that getting in touch with their spouses or significant others "intimate" side if you will, falls by the wayside. They may have had a different understanding of the relationship at it's begginning and may have grown and never stopped to share with each other the growth. I cringe at people who say, "she or he wasn't like this when I met them; 20 years ago!!!!" Well I sure hope now, if you are in a relationship that is not upwardly changing on a consistent rotation, then you need to run for the hills. Also, if SHE or HE is not expressing what they want to their significant other, that can hinder things as well. After all, neither of them are mind readers, and if they are, I would love some of what they are drinking. In a relationship don't expect someone to know what you want and don't want and then get mad. Get bold, tell him or her, "Honey I like it like THIS!" otherwise, you will be in that missionary position for the NEXT six years, if the relationship hasn't fizzled before then. Just my .02cents.
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9:49 AM
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Well said Yolanda (in both posts).
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10:28 AM
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I agree with Yolanda wholeheartedly. YOu would think that with all the hi-tech gadgets to increase communication our world would be a better place and relationships would foster growth, but instead, technology has stripped human beings of 'sensitivity, communication and affection'.
The fact that he's asking how to make it work with his lady is one step ahead of a lot of men. He should just ask her out on a date {at home} or a serene setting, and just ask her if there's anything in their relationship at its current stage that she would like to get better and if so ask her how. Trying to read minds only makes an ass out of U & ME...LOL Don't assume, just ask!
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2:28 PM
Go Ahead, !
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