Dear Shelia,

I met an older man I'm not physically attracted to AT ALL, but...there is something about his character that appealed enough to me to give him my number. Now I'm having second thoughts. I haven't had any success with men closer to my age group or younger and I've always been told that with my beliefs, mindset, traditional ways and business sense an older man would be more suited to me. But I never thought of anyone nearly 20 years my senior. What to do?

Signed
Been single too long but not desperate

Dear Not Desperate,

Is the age gap the only thing keeping you from giving this man your heart? How does he treat you? Is the 20 year age gap obvious when you two are alone? If he treats you well and makes you feel special when nobody else is around, then you may be able to work past the age difference. If his personality and spiritual beliefs are in sync with yours, then maybe he's worth giving a chance. Don't allow the age difference stop you from experiencing true love. If you're more concerned that people will see you as desperate than working on the actual relationship, then you might not be ready for a relationship with him. If you decide on a relationship with this man, be prepared for the snide comments, but as long as you're happy and the relationship is enhancing your life and not bringing you down, then go for it.

Peace and Love,


Keep those questions coming. Have a question??? Feel free to leave your question by either posting in the comment field or sending an email directly to askohshelia@aol.com.