Dearest Shelia,

When is a guy friend JUST a friend?

Okay, say it's over--the relationship-but somehow, some way you keep 'being' with him. You both say you are 'Just Friends' but you find yourself doing boyfriend and girlfriend type of things...

When and how do you draw the line??

I like this beau but when we were in a relationship, it felt all wrong so we broke it off.. So, it seemed (blushing) but we hang out and are 'lovey-dovey'. I'm confused. Should I just put my foot down and cut it off 100% or can I save that 'friendship' portion of the relationship.

Please enlighten me..
Signed
Persia Ellis

Dear Persia Ellis,

After reading your email several times, it seems that in your situation there's a thin line between being a friend and being a lover. It appears that somebody is afraid of a true committment. You're doing relationship type things, but with no strings attached. Sounds like you have the best of both worlds.

It doesn't look like you want to break things off, because if you did, you would make a clean break and wouldn't be doing any "lovey dovey" type things with this guy. Now if I'm wrong, and you do want to make a clean break, then "DO IT." Don't play house and just move on.

A friend is someone who is frank and truthful. If you're being deceitful with this person, then you're not his friend and if he's deceiving you, he's not yours either. On top of that, it's hard to break up with someone and be "just friends" after you've shared a piece of your body and soul with them. Maybe in time, but in the beginning if you want a clean break, then make it one and stop allowing him to dip in the cookie jar.

Only you can make the decision to get off that merry go round. But if you're still on it, apparently you're enjoying the ride. But if you don't enjoy it, why continue to waste his time, but most importantly why continue to waste YOUR TIME.



Keep those questions coming. Have a question??? Feel free to leave your question by either posting in the comment field or sending an email directly to askohshelia@aol.com.